Another

I knew I could not get a "love mortgage" to buy me a happy home. I have so much cash to give but no one gives me a mortgage because my credit history is very bad. Although life is so wonderful and I am having the time of my life, but Oh Jesus! I feel a bit of a fool and I hate feeling this because I know that I am not really that much a fool. Every time I look inside I see me for whom I am, and what I see confirms that I could not do any different even if I were not a fool.

Never mind! The Friday is here again, and I know I don't have to wait in the queue and I know this also that I am going to lose myself in someone else's arms. A few more drinks and we'll be ready for "action" again, if I am to be honest I am never too fond of asking. I am still out there, looking to get the dancer who won't trip me down when the beat changes.

"All right, Darling!", "and how are we tonight? Fancy me, or some?" are the words that I hear with a smile and I know I should say "Go away, it is not going to happen in a million years, just leave me alone" but I can not walk away, I want to dance my melancholy away may be it will help me to feel that I don't want to be some other place than here.


How could I be so naive when I see something so beautiful? Was there something more that I needed to do? Did I let myself down by not being fond of visiting the point where I lose my mind and end up going crazy: alone? In a time like this all I want is the sun to be in the sky and for me to dance, maybe a little like "Alfresco", "in the Park", on a good day when it shines out.

I wonder if it is me or that every one is going "Mental"!

OK we reached the end but I'd be telling lies if I say I enjoyed you being so gentle when you broke it to me.

So you thought it is going to be easy? Don't worry! I am not going to reciprocate and I am not going to tell you that you were small in the game.

It is Friday but I'll let it be, and I am not going to be very clever by telling you that I knew you too well before you started to mess me around, and you never knew how to be my lover, that would be a shame. You took me by surprise and fell for me by looking into my eyes but when you killed it you were too scared to look into those very same eyes. What was I supposed to say back to you after that?

"As one embrace leaves you; another one opens" a friend used to say that and tell me it is her motto, but if it does not make me feel real how can I believe in that? Does it feel so much safer if I give and take it when I don't get the chance to know them?

Am I sad? Well maybe, but it is a brand new day, and hey! "It is another Friday" and in the weekends I always love to be led stray. One thing is sure I am not going to be left alone and start reminiscing. There may be things that remind me of you but the good thing is that we never had a Sunday of dreams; we never shared one; even when we started things. There are not too many memories to shake, we were too young for that. It is unfair to pretend that there was one weekend that I saw the sleep in your eyes when I made you some coffee and shared our croissants in bed.

I wonder sometimes if it is me or that every one is going "Mental"! I know you killed it but I am fine and I'd be having the time my life; and yes it is Friday and I am so glad that I won't have to stand in any queue to dance a song or two.

That is what happens when we play with fire, I knew it well that I'll get burned. Do I like my scars? I suppose I do since it shows that that I have tried getting there, the best thing comes to those who wait but who the hell am I to know?

Oh my feet are itching for some dancing again, I love it so much but how the hell would you know or care? "Wait for me darling!" I hear them say. One more drink and I'll be on that dance floor: ready for action again. I know I want to dance till my feet are hurting and my ankles are swollen.
"If you can not keep up then stop being a cardboard cut out, just leave me alone because you are out of luck, let me find a partner who can and knows how to reciprocate" that is what is on my mind. Wouldn't that be a shame if I have to say all that to you?

MilongaCat