A Scent

Her scent was still reassuring me that I am not dreaming of her and that she is here, in my arms, breathing deeply, and deep in sleep.

I love “gardenia” (Chinese Jasmine). She always wears it and tonight she has been wearing it. Like always, it sends me to heaven. For me, this unmistakable scent has become synonymous with her presence. It seems the gods of East have created this scent just to please her, and it is created just to compliment her own skin's scent.

The very first time that I held her close in my embrace was when I learned of this magic sweet chocolate and spring jasmine scent. Holding her, and dancing with her, and looking at her, watching her smiling as we danced those dreamy songs, I felt bewitched.

Whenever we argued we could not stay crossed with each other for very long. I always felt that I was more annoyed with myself for allowing her to make me so angry! Same was true of last night. I was not even certain how it began. It seemed like we were both looking for an excuse to let the anger to surface. The argument was not planned. Foolishly perhaps I felt we were desperately looking for a way to let off steam and knew instinctively that the other would tolerate it without a total fall out.

When I turned the lights out, just before I made sure the alarm clock was not set for an early wake-up call on the New Year's day, I realised I was still bitter with her. We had not even said “good nights”.

I gently moved some hair off her face, and caressed her forehead, carefully traced a line of hair that led a path to her lips. For a moment I wondered if she had smiled back but she had not. She moved a little closer and I sensed the heat of her skin. I continued listening to her breathing deeper. There were no other sounds, just silence. It felt peaceful. The New Year's Eve rebellious seemed to have ended and harmony and gentleness has returned.

I did not want to know of time. It did not matter if it was near dawn or later, all that mattered was that she was in my arms and in my semi consciousness I knew I was no longer angry with her.

I felt she got closer, hugged me tighter, without opening her eyes faced me and quietly whispered “I wish I could hate you, just long enough, maybe for one whole day or night even, then you'd know how much I love you!" She didn't make much sense and I was not sure if this was an apology for last night but it did not matter since it was a sentence that carried some peace offerings. I kissed her gently and replied “me too!”

She hugged me and I sensed her soon falling back asleep again. I could not stop day-dreaming us dancing to our most favourite tangos. I loved our belonging. I knew that despite the evil green monster of jealousy plotting against us we would survive once more together.

(Milongacat is back!)