Irony at Midnight

I know it was not fair, but I did not want to talk about me, her, or the crowd there. I only wanted her to open her arms wide and let me embrace her tight. I wanted to feel her close. I wanted to tango with her, across that floor, through those songs, all night tonight.

I know it was not fair, but I am not flawless, and I am no angel. All that I wanted was dancing with her and not to measure ourselves against that one other. "Sorry" is bad when we live envious, but how come no one sees it coming when we are making room in their lives for the empty? I suppose we can not help it, we always understand it when it is too late, or when we grieve. It is only when we can never talk that we begin to think rational.

I wanted her to feel good, to take all the options given to her for free. She had won the moves and the prizes despite and in spite of all the faults. Perhaps it was the charm of those tracks and dreamy words that meant what we wished them to say in our own minds.

Remembering the obvious attractions and to let it continue to go around, all the while knowing that it does not come around. I wonder how long it will be before I screw it up next again. She said "It never matters how hard I try!". What it comes down to is this that I seem to be for ever destined to get myself here where I am "the good-lover" who is sorry in or near the dawn for mispronouncing a familiar feeling once again!

As I leave tonight, breathing in the fresh salty air, I will make sure I will shout very loud "I am all right, I am free!", I wonder if I am a little wiser by the dawn. It is midnight and I will not regret the lottery that we lost. Let us not deny the pleasures we found when we were both drowned.

I am happy for all that we could not help, the secretes we kept, or all the promises we made, broke or forgot. Let the silent become alive, don't say "it will not hurt much again, you must be more careful for the next time!"

How can it not be ironic when we passionately danced a love song but left our love behind?

I know it was not fair but I only wanted her to open her arms wide and let me embrace her tight to dance with her the very last song and part without either of us saying good-bye.

(Milongacat is back!)