2008, Best of Luck!

It is Time! Another page is turned. One more chapter is played out. Who knows where this story, any of our stories will be taking us to next, personally I can only say that I am thrilled that our stories continue. I am also feeling certain that we will remain fascinated and overwhelmed by disbelief at many things that we will meet at every turn till 2008 is over too.

In looking back, there are some regrets which remain, these found to have no resolution even by the end of all chapters that were played out when the year ended, similarly there are many of our wishes that were not fulfilled, despite best of efforts that we applied.

In places Time was short. In others, we can talk of "luck". Luck is the best excuse that I know of which we can shamelessly use. Myself, whenever I stopped wanting to pursue that which I had assumed to be not worth while following, I have often engaged the blame on "luck". With the excuse of "luck" it is easier to face partings of friendships, lovers, and even business deals. Saying good-byes to any chosen paths, by disassociating oneself from any initial intentions; and by blaming luck; one does not need to explain the change of hearts or mind.

I have always seen that there is some crazy feeling for wanting "intimacy of feelings" around this time of the year. Not many are immune of this and that is how it happened to me. Last year around this time I fell into the roller coaster run of finding myself feeling attracted to someone I had just known. The thoughts of falling-in-love, being brave and tempting faith and taking massive steps instead of "baby-steps", walking speedily towards that vulnerable state of offering the most precious of all feelings: longing and love for another person, it felt crazy, and and it felt good and control was given to events rather than sense.

In the sobriety that followed those times when the sense and sensibilities were gone, some more was added to all I had read and learned or seen and known. For some our own common contexts do not apply. There are other versions, bargained for a few screaming days at some sunny and sandy beaches, away from winter days of "Good Ol' London". Perhaps "luck" played its part as best as it could have, and for that I am now - in my sobriety of senses - grateful and consequently have no regrets on what was and what remains.

This year I promised that I'll be careful, and decided not to play dice with life- I think the lesson was well learnt and was not to be retried.

She said "Is this it?...the last tango?... the end of 2007... and then no more ...? ", her smiles were warm but her anxiety innocently showed through. I just felt excited, ending the year on a high note, happy that no pandora box I had left opened to deal with later as the year was about to end.

I could see only a total dissimilar reflection of all that I was feeling inside, in her anxiety for the incoming unknown, perhaps it was just just my imagination and nothing more. I told her that I felt thrilled because of looking forward to all that is yet to happen and all that I am glad to call 'unknown'. She smiled and looked at me with an appreciation of why I had just said.

With the last song of 2007 we embraced even more intent. She made me feel she enjoyed the safety of being together in those moments. We were strangers but it felt like holding on to an old friend for whom there was endless care, dancing together, the very last song ended.

The DJ ended the music in very good time and we counted the last 12 seconds of the year aloud, holding one another in the friendliest of caring embraces. With the first few seconds into the 2008 our laughter and screams of joy joined the noise and excitement shown by everyone else, and together we stole away all the fears and anxieties that there could have been seconds before in her.

We toasted the new year and kissed, and hugged. We had embraced soon again and began dancing, with our own and everyone else's smiles we became part of the general tapestry of joy. Celebrating with dancing a new song for and with the new year that had just begun.

In 2007, I continued to learn more about people and tango. More about what I had already known some , the egos with their individualistic complexes - common to those who live to compete in tango since there is not much else to define themselves with. I also continued with learning of how "Dancing Tango" changes most of us - often for the better, by helping us to get in touch with our most basic of feelings.

Most touchingly I have enjoyed learning from those who share their feelings and experiences in such pages, the bloggers, specially those who write intimately about themselves, particularly those whose writing is about their lives-in-tango and about tango-in-their lives.

I have learned and appreciate that there are many who are much better and more brave at this blogging than I could ever be. Still, they inspire me both in writing and while dancing, and that is a present for which I thank them.

I wish them and everyone of you who reads these postings "The Best of Luck!" - for all the new chapters of life-stories in this new year. In 2008, there is much more to come our way.

MilongaCat
The only cat who loves you back!